An Open Letter To Spring

Dear Spring,

Where the hell are you?! Maybe you've graced other parts of the country with your presence, but not Illinois. It's the end of April and I still have my electric blanket on my bed. How messed up is that? You teased all of us in March with a few nice days and even the beginning of the month was nice. I moved all my plants out to my balcony. Well, guess what? THEY'RE ALL FUCKING DEAD NOW!
I know what you're up to, Spring. You did this to us last year, too. You got lazy, probably started drinking again and you forgot to do your job. One day it was winter and the next it was 90 degrees. Yeah, that's right, we went straight into summer. I swear on all the is holy & pure that you better get your godamn act together and not pull this shit twice in a row. I want sunny, mid-70's weather pronto. I am still WAY to pale to rock out shorts yet.

Don't Make Me Hurt You,
Brooke Amanda