An Open Letter To March

Dear March,

So this is how you’re going to play it, huh? Beautiful, sunny and 65 degrees one day, then frigid, snowing and 30 degrees the very next day. What the hell?! You’re such a little cocktease. Do I need to bust out my capris and sandals or stick to winter coats and boots?

I know you’re supposed to come in like a lion and out like a lamb, but starting off like a lamb and then flipping the script is NOT COOL. Not cool at all. Don’t make me start to hate you more than I already hate February because, trust me, you don’t want that kind of wrath coming down on you full-force.

All this back-and-forth with Mother Nature has got me in a very pissy mood. If you two could possibly reach a decision within the next couple of days to, ya know, maybe make the next few weeks sunny with moderate temps that would be just fabulous. I know everyone in Illinois would thank you from the bottom of our warmth-deprived hearts.

Waiting patiently for some nice weather,
Brooke Amanda

An Open Letter to the Remote Control

An Open Letter to the Remote Control


Dear Remote Control:


Where are you? I'm tired of your little games. I know you're not in the couch cushions; I already checked there.

Show yourself.


Regards,

Heather

An Open Letter To Shawn & Heather

Dear Shawn & Heather,

Where the hell are you guys?! I'm seriously thinking of hiring a David Addison/Maddie Hayes type PI team to find your whereabouts. Shark Tank hasn't posted in over an month now and Heather Cherry is right behind him. Julia, do you know where our missing authors are at? Seriously, I can't write this blog by myself! I have two other blogs to write!

Hope everything is okay,
Brooke Amanda

An Open Letter To Memorial Day

Dear Memorial Day,

Why do have ALWAYS have to be rainy and cold?! It never fails...the day before you will be gorgeous and I'm lulled into a false sense of security. "Maybe this year will be different. Maybe I'll grill out or lay by the pool." Then, I wake up to the sound of rain falling and my dreams of a nice day off have been dashed. Fool me once, shame on you; fool me thirty years in a row, shame on me. Next year, I will NOT get my hopes up.

Sitting Inside Watching Crappy TV Shows,
Brooke Amanda

An Open Letter To The Boogeyman In My Closet

Dear Boogeyman,

While you're in there, would you mind separating my button down shirts from my tees? At some point, they got all mixed together and it's become quite the hassle trying to get dressed in the morning.

Thanks so much,
Shawn

An Open Letter to Donald Duck

Dear Donald,

Huh?

Thanks,
Shawn

An Open Letter to Dust

An Open Letter to Dust


Dear Dust:

Where the heck do you come from? Seriously. What's your deal?

Thanks in advance for any information you might be able to provide,

Me

An Open Letter to the Moth That Got Into My Closet

An Open Letter to the Moth That Got Into My Closet and Chewed Itty-Bitty Holes into My Favorite Pair of Pants


Dear Moth:

Not cool, dude. Not. Cool.

Yours truly,

Owner of Pants


P.S. What other things do you hate? Cuz I’m certainly not using those stinky moth balls to get rid of you so you can forget that. I refuse to let my clothes smell like those of an octogenarian. Shall I toss a Nickelback CD in there at you? Just kidding. I would never buy a Nickelback CD.

An Open Letter To The nake In My Backyard

Dear nake,

I have een you in the yard, lithering through the bu he and hi ing at me when I get too clo e. It' time for you to leave, plea e.

incerely,

hawn

CC: Dell Computer , INC.

Dear Dell,

A certain letter on my keyboard no longer work . Plea e end replacement.

Thank ,

hawn

An Open Letter To The Lone Onion Ring In My Box of Burger King Fries

Dear Onion Ring,

Why are you here? Are you a stowaway? A promotional tactic? A bonus? Please respond.

Thanks,
Shawn