Live the dream. Write an Open Letter.

Your own words from the insides of your very own brain could be on this blog!

Holy crap, could it even be true? Rest assured, it's 100% true, as verified on the internets by Wikipedia. [citation needed]

Do you have something to say? Is there some celebrity you want to reprimand firmly? How about an inanimate object or abstract idea you'd like to complain about? Do you have a woodland creature to give friendly advice to? Look no further. You are only a step away from living the dream, just like Shawn, Julia, Brooke, Heather, and the few lucky guest bloggers we've graciously allowed in the past to penetrate the veil of superiority and exclusivity that is The Open Letters Blog. Well, if we're being honest, and we're nothing if not honest, you're more than a few steps away from living the aforementioned dream...

Here are the steps to becoming a winner:
  1. Under Contact, click Email to send your letter to Heather, including the name you want to sign it with and a link to your blog if you want to be linked. We reserve the right not to link to any blogs deemed offensive or just lame in general.
  2. The blog authors review your submission and laugh at you behind your back if the letter sucks.
  3. The blog authors order in Chinese takeout.
  4. The blog authors get food poisoning from the Chinese takeout.
  5. The Chinese restaurant in question is closed due to health code violations.
  6. The blog authors return to the business at hand and debate the pros and cons of posting the letter to the blog.
  7. The bill goes to Congress.
  8. Congress goes, "Um, what the crap? Why did you send us this?"
  9. The blog authors take a break from their heated discussion (about whether or not peace in the Middle East is attainable, not about your letter) and watch The Goonies.
  10. Shawn claims he can do "The Truffle Shuffle".
  11. Brooke, Heather, and Julia make him prove it.
  12. Your letter is either a) rejected - sucks to be you!, or b) accepted - word.

Good luck, nerds!