Dear Snufflebunny,
As you know, whenever I see a dog, and that dog is within petting distance, I cannot help myself. I don't care if it's a rat-looking chihuahua or a friendly beagle or a snarling rottweiler. I simply must head over there and give it a pat on the head and perhaps a scratch behind the ear. Maybe it's a sign of personal weakness--I don't know. But I simply must do it.
Well, it turns out you can contract herpes from petting strange dogs. Who knew??
Anyway, that's where it came from so I guess we can just go ahead and not talk about it anymore.
Thanks for your understanding,
Shawn
Starbucks and the Genie
4 years ago
8 comments:
I'm pretty sure you have a bridge to sell your girlfriend too. The Brooklyn Bridge, perhaps?
LOL! "That was a close one."
Lol again, I say.
I thought that was the only way to get herpes. That's why I never pet strange animals. Tons of unprotected sex, yes. Petting animals, no!
No, I am pretty sure there is a Herpes Fairy too. Or at least that's what the man with the van full of candy told me. Last week. On my way to the bar.
I am a dog. I have been patted and kissed many times by humans. That's how I got this herpes thing. Thanks for your open letter.
So that's what it's called nowadays, "Petting the dog".
Well, at least now I know.
But I only licked! And they don't make gloves for tongues!
LMAO! I love this post...
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