For years, I regarded you as a bit of an ass. I thought that if Open Letters had existed in your day, surely our contributor Brooke would have taken you to task for what she would only have been able to term, "incorrigible douchery". After all, who signs their name that way? It smacked of the class clown in high school who had to find some insignificant way to draw attention to themselves.
It appears, however, I have an apology to make. I recently read Thomas Rogers' account of your stay in the Massachusetts House of Representatives, where he praises you for "blazing a whig of the first magnitude" in defiance of the British. Why have we never heard of this? We hear all about the Boston Tea Party and various boycotts, but never about this stunning display of bravery.
Something epic like this, I imagineIn any case, my truest apologies to you. I have now decided to make you one of my all time heroes, alongside such great patriots as Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Franklin, and Rocky Balboa. Shine on, you crazy whig-burning diamond.
Forever in debt,
5 comments:
Now I have to google John's signature because I just can't see it in my head anymore.
"Incorrigible Douchery" is my new favorite phrase and I will try to use it in a sentence today.
Definitely epic. Declaration of Independence... PWND!!1 John Hancock FTW.
Also, Shawn, it would seem that lately you have a particular preoccupation with a certain 4-letter word that starts with C and ends with OCK. Your next open letter should be addressed to the rooster who cries "COCK-a-doodle-doo" every morning and disturbs your sleep.
Rebecca: Google should send me a stipend for sending you there over and over again.
Brooke: I think you should use it once in a sentence every day.
Heather: Damn it, that's true! Makes me wonder if my high school guidance counselor wasn't on to something after all...
Well I can imagine that a drunken superhero would have a large signature...
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