An Open Letter to My Letter Opener

Dear Letter Opener,

Hey, remember that time I used you once? Not to open a letter, but to take that screw out of the bottom of my desk, in lieu of a flathead screwdriver. You really came in handy and I wanted you to know I appreciated your help, even if I find my index finger more than capable of handling traditional letter opening situations.

Thanks,
Shawn

Open Letter To the Word Verification

Deerrr Word Verification att thu bodum uv thu komint sexun uv mi fayvert blogggirz:


Wy doo yew lerk beeloh wen wee syn awff, staen tu thu vuree lasd menet, lyk thu lefd ovir dizguzteeng bakkwarsh inna 2-yeer ols sippeee kupp?

Uhbowt thu tym wee theenk wee arr dun maykn owr phunnee komints wee ind upp tripppen ovr yew. Soh itz tym yew herrd frum uhs. Juz reed ahn, yew liddl bockz uv nooisunz.

Awww, wut's thu maddur? Caynt reed thiz leddir??? Let's try it my way.

Perhaps a different font would make it a little more interesting, hmmm?!

Let's try a little Webdings...can ya read this????

Let's try a little Webdings...can ya read this????

No??? UH-oh! TOO bad, do over!!!! Do it over I said! Well, too bad. Go away and stop annoying all of us. You are not needed here.


Really perturbed (that's p-e-r-t-u-r-b-e-d),

Nan

PS- "Word Verification" indeed....how about ACTUAL words...it's not like you would ever run out....or how about spellcheck, you oxymoron!


[Editor's Note: After reading this letter I had to inform my mom, the author of this letter, that she has had Word Verification turned on in her blog settings all this time.]

Our First Award!

We here at The Open Letters Blog would like to thank all the little people that made this award possible. We'd also like to thank the little chihuahua in a cup that made this award so cute. And I think I speak for my fellow bloggers when I say, "Thank you for the recognition!" Actually, I don't speak for the other guys... they're total ingrates.

Thanks to Lindsay over at the awesome blog Shrimp Salad Circus for the great award!

You LIKE us, you really LIKE us!

XOXO,

Heather Cherry

An Open Letter to the Person Who Painted the Ambulance I Saw Today

Dear Ambulance Artists,

I don't know how to tell you this, but you completely BOTCHED the word "Ambulance" on the front of the vehicle. I realize dyslexia is a serious condition, but what you did was worse than dyslexia. It's almost like you did it on purpose. Well, funny joke...I guess...but an emergency vehicle doesn't really seem like the appropriate place for a prank. Just my opinion.

Sincerely,
Shawn

An Open Letter to the "Home" Key on My Keyboard

An Open Letter to the "Home" Key on My Keyboard


Dear "Home" Key:

How come you don't work? I have pressed you several times this morning yet here at work I remain. You suck.

Warmest regards,

Heather

P.S. Maybe I should invest in a Ruby Slippers Button.

An Open Letter To Fiber One Bars

Dear Fiber One Bars,

Thank you for being truly delicious and making me have extremely satisfying poohs. If it weren't for your tasty little bars, I shudder to think how irregular I would be.

The Owner Of A Very Happy Colon,
Brooke Amanda

Open Letter to the Sport of Tennis

Open Letter to the Sport of Tennis

Dear Tennis,

What is your deal? You obviously think your special. Using all those words like "love" and crap in your scores. What is wrong with a number score, huh? What do you have against 5-0, or "its tied up" or "scoreless". I mean, "deuce"? It isnt a card game for Pete's sake, its a sport with a ball, which should use the number system. Oh and if that isnt bad enough, your female players wear skirts. Well, la-ti-da, arent you something? Please. Oh, and your fans? Boring. Their polite little applause like they all sticks up their bums. How about some shouting in the stands? Or someone throwing a plastic beer cup, or a people with painted faces? Nope, too good for that obviously. Then you go and put yourself into a wii game, and now my children are using your ridiculous terms for scores, and frankly, its making me ill. Please stop the insanity.

Respectfully,

Obladi

A Baseball, Football and Soccer Mom