Dear Publix,
I write this letter with a heavy heart. For a long time, you've taken the strong lead when it comes to excellence in grocery, and I am proud to call you my favorite Florida supermarket. However, there is an issue I can no longer stand by and ignore.
Every time I purchase your ground beef, steaks, or pork chops, they go green and moldy within a single day of being in my pantry. Every time!
I've found myself forced to eat any such meats immediately upon returning home, leaving me with a situation where I am painfully full for one day, and then starving for the next six. I don't expect your meats to last forever, but I think they should be good for at least a few days, don't you agree?
Thinking of going to Piggly Wiggly,
Shawn
Starbucks and the Genie
4 years ago
16 comments:
I KNEW it wasn't just me... that happens to meat in my pantry too... ;)
Dear Shawn:
You're a dumbass. However, we will welcome you with open arms and warm hearts.
Best regards,
The Piggy Wiggly
Dear Shawn:
Next time you're at Publix, pick up some ice along with your ground beef, steak and pork chops. And a couple rolls of paper towels.
If you keep the meats right next to the ice cream in the pantry, they should do alright for a little while.
But you also have to hurry and eat the ice cream, just be sure to restock it right away on a daily basis.
Dear Shawn,
Modify your pantry in just a few easy steps. That's right. With a little insulation, some coolant, and a thermostat, you should be in business. Electricity might help, too.
Winky: Hmm, could be an all out degradation in the food industry.
Piggly Wiggly: Well forget it now! I'd rather eat green beef than shop at your store. You always have to ruin it.
Feefifoto: I have paper towels, but I never buy ice because it has approximately the same shelf life as the meat.
Marissa: I don't...I don't know if that really solves the problem...on the other hand, I'm always up for eating more ice cream.
Reforming: Well, I'm not turning my whole house upside down just to accommodate Publix's rotten meat!
It might be a plan to turn up the heat in your pantry, never *ever* underestimate the power of jerky.
Hey, I like your blog and wish I'd thought about open letters. I have very good memories of Publix and am sad that like most everything they went to pot. I remember that they had a really good price on chopped liver and macaroni and cheese at the Publix in Sunny Isles. Good times.
I plan to to discusss David Carradine more as his dying with a shoelace hanging off his member fascinates me to no end.
I still kind of can't believe there is a supermarket called Piggly Wiggly. And Mr Wiggly is clearly a thinly-veiled ripoff of Porky the Pig.
I myself prefer to shop at the fine establishment known as the Crackhead Kroger. Because I live in such an upscale neighborhood.
i'm pretty sure spam keeps for quite a while in the pantry. just a thought.
(you kill me. haha)
Eric: Interesting idea. Maybe I should get that awesome Ronco Dehydrator.
Tarra: Yeah, Publix is a great place, it's just a shame about their meats.
Soda: I know...it's the only grocery store where the name itself makes you kinda hesitant to shop there. Well, them and We Gotz Food.
Mama-face: Yeah, but how do you really tell when Spam's gone bad?
Too funny. I was thinking as I started reading that you should shop at Piggly Wiggly..but you stole my idea.
How about Goodings? is that still around?
They don't use meat, its meat composite composing of a combinaion of components including copper
Bearman: Goodings? Never heard of it. Publix pretty much has the monopoly around here, other than the occasional Albertson's or Winn-Dixie.
Dukakis/bentsen: Well, maybe this is the kind of thing that would be common knowledge had your candidate won.
LOL, We Gotz Food.
Well you can't argue with their slogan: "Word."
What, meat you say. How about their fruit all the way from south america, Like they know how to grow anything besides coca. I have yet eaten anything in the past few years that was edible.
HEY GUYS ,BY AMERICAN NOT SOUTH AMERICAN.
A LOUSY PLACE TO SHOP AND A WORST PLACE TO WORKe
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