An Open Letter To Dragon Naturally Speaking ("written" with Dragon Naturally Speaking)

Dear Dragon,

It's been a pleasure and a delight to use your speech recognition software, freeing my hands to publish more important tacks such as: digging through the bag of Cheetos for those final crimes, messing about with my electronic cigarette, and handwriting ideas for future blog posts. It will only be a matter of time before I can dispense with my keyboard and mouse altogether, thus earning me the final merit badge in my quest to become the laziest man alive.

Many would shy away from writing a letter such as this for fear that it might be seen as an improper product indoors mint. Not I however, when a piece of software is capable as you are Dragon pirouette peer. I have no qualms about shouting it from the nearest rooftop. And make no mistake about it, I really am shouting. I have to, because this microphone is a piece of ship. new paragraph new parent graph new scratch hat god be jesus what the hell

So, you make a few mistakes and typos here and there. So what? If I can fully convince our readers to expect this level of grammatical correctness, I will soon be able to outsource my post to a Third World country for pennies on the dollar and retire to the coast of Mexico for a lifetime of good tequila and long siestas.

Which is across the us,
SHA WN

An Open Letter To The Geek Squad

Dear Geek Squad,

Thanks for taking THREE weeks to fix my computer. I probably could have figured out how to repair it in that amount of time. Oh, and thanks for NOT calling me to tell me it was ready to pick up. Awesome, awesome job guys. Do any of you EVER get laid? Just wondering.

F**k You All,

Brooke Amanda

An Open Letter to the "Home" Key on My Keyboard

An Open Letter to the "Home" Key on My Keyboard


Dear "Home" Key:

How come you don't work? I have pressed you several times this morning yet here at work I remain. You suck.

Warmest regards,

Heather

P.S. Maybe I should invest in a Ruby Slippers Button.

An open letter to Shawn

Dear Shawn,

omg dude. Your photoshop skillz are amazing. Really astounding. You should totally be proud of yourself. When I saw your portrait of me I thought at first that I was looking in a mirror. Seriously. Well done.

<3,
JuliaD

An Open Letter To The nake In My Backyard

Dear nake,

I have een you in the yard, lithering through the bu he and hi ing at me when I get too clo e. It' time for you to leave, plea e.

incerely,

hawn

CC: Dell Computer , INC.

Dear Dell,

A certain letter on my keyboard no longer work . Plea e end replacement.

Thank ,

hawn