Friday, December 3, 2010

An Open Letter To Edy's

Dear Edy's,

I recently had occasion to purchase your Pumpkin flavored ice cream. It seemed like a sure bet. Here are the factors that caused me to believe I was making a good choice:

#1. I like ice cream
#2. I like pumpkin pie
#3. I like seasonally available treats, such as egg nog and Cadbury Creme Eggs

But my delight turned to disdain when I arrived home, removed the lid, and took my first tentative bites. (I don't believe in bowls--they only take away from the purity of the ice cream eating experience.) The first problem was the color. I was expecting something light brown, like the pumpkin pie filling I've always loved. Instead, I was assaulted with a strange peach-like hue completely inappropriate for the flavor. The second problem was the consistency. I expected it to be more like, I don't know, ice cream. Instead, I swirled my spoon around a thick, dry paste not unlike mashed circus peanuts. That it was cold was really the only thing that met my expectations. The flavor was in the ballpark--just close enough to make me wish I was actually eating pumpkin pie instead of your product.

Be the Avis of your industry, Edy's. Try harder.


CC: Dreyer's


Rebecca said...

You went wrong when you bought Edy's. Only Bryer's makes it into my cart.

Melody! said...

Dear Shawn!

Did you by any chance at all what so ever, ever find a little bit of a hard thing in that Pumpkin flavored icecream you are talking about? The reason I ask, is that during the month of March, this year btw, I had the pleasure of visiting the Edy's Plant in Saginaw! While I was chewing the fat with John Harrison, the official taste testerer, he is bonafied bytheway, and while I was trying some of his new creations, I had the very pleasing pleasure of trying some Pumpkin flavored Ice cream! Edy's is the best! Well, not preferring the little wooden sample spoons they give out and moi, without my escargot shell caviar spoon, decided to double-dip my right-next-to-my-pinky finger into the, what you adroitly describe as a strange pink-like hue icecream! Well to make a long story short, my middle finger, with it's loosely hanging finger nail, nipped the icecream's vat! Imagine that! Into the vat!

So if you bit into any thing that was hard and spit it intof your hand and it was pink...I am sorry! To say the least!


ps! This pink fingernail has no sentimental value to me atall whatsoever so you may do with it as you may!

pps! I am also sorry for assuming that y0u were saving the nail in the first place! How assssumptive! Heavens-to-Betsy!

ppps! Besides! What do the Swiss know about pumpkins!?

Brooke Amanda said...

Try the Cookie Dough flavor next time. I promise, you won't be dissapointed!