Saturday, April 4, 2009

An Open Letter To Dunkin' Donuts

Dear Dunkin' Donuts,

First off, let me congratulate you on making a coffee that is so highly addictive, I would be scared to drink it while pregnant for fear my children will be low birth weight and go through withdrawls. But the real reason I'm writing this letter is to nominate your employee, Gene, for "Employee of The Month." Gene works the drive-thru window at my local Dunkin' Donuts and can recognize my voice instantly. That means either he has a really good ear, or I go to your establishment way too fucking much.
Our exchange every morning goes something like this:
Gene: "Welcome to Dunkin' Donuts. May I take your order?"
Me: "Yes, I'd like a large coffee with cream and sugar, please."
Gene: "And a ham, egg, and cheese on an English muffin?"
Me: "Yes, please." I don't have the heart to special order it because I haven't eaten pork since I was 14. I just don't want to ruin our banter. I throw the ham away when I get to work. Plus, I kind of like the hammy flavor it leaves.
Gene: "Okay Brooke. See you at the window."
It's like he knows my soul! What a phenomenal guy! On a side note, I have no idea what ethnicity Gene is. Maybe Filipino? He has a definite accent and an interesting look that I just can't place. And I highly doubt Gene is his real name. I'm sure he had to Americanize it for "the man" and I think that shows a great team spirit as well. He could be the manager someday! Gene is a definite keeper and I would promote him through the Dunkin' Donuts ranks as quickly as possible. Maybe he could even star in your next commercial. Just a thought.

Keep making your crack coffee,
Brooke Amanda

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