Saturday, November 7, 2009

An Open Letter To Public Bathroom Toilet Paper

Dear TP,

I've been unfortunate enough to need your assistance a time or two in my day, and you never fail to disappoint. Perhaps if I was looking to take my quarter panel down to the primer you would be up for the job. Or if I needed to write something down but didn't have any notebook paper handy, I bet you would be perfect in a pinch. But when it comes to doing the job for which you're most often employed, you are woefully out of your depth. Like a lazy janitor two days from retirement, you do the basic cleaning, but you leave out that extra...something...that would be so appreciated. You know...like softness. Absorbency. Ease of use. It's the little things that make all the difference. Don't settle for "just getting by", TP. You're better than that.

Unable to sit,

Shawn

4 comments:

ReformingGeek said...

Amen. Confetti is also appropriate as that must be the reason it's in shreds all over the floor in the public restrooms.

Heather Cherry said...

Shawn! YAY! Thanks for not letting our blog fade into obscurity. I've been super lame.

shopgirl101 said...

I especially love toliet paper that's so rough, I feel like I've just exfoliated my rectum.

plumbing said...

Toilet paper is one of the greatest hygienic inventions. I am really grateful that it was invented and we can still use it up to now.