Wednesday, July 15, 2009

An Open Letter to My Letter Opener

Dear Letter Opener,

Hey, remember that time I used you once? Not to open a letter, but to take that screw out of the bottom of my desk, in lieu of a flathead screwdriver. You really came in handy and I wanted you to know I appreciated your help, even if I find my index finger more than capable of handling traditional letter opening situations.

Thanks,
Shawn

9 comments:

Shawn's Index Finger said...

Dear Shawn,

You know thats all fine and everything, but quite frankly Im sick of doing the job's of others. How about a break, huh?

Sincery,
Your Finger.

Heather Cherry said...

That was really thoughtful of you. No one sends thank you notes these days.

Quirkyloon said...

And don't you know that there are millions of letter openerless children in Africa?

Send them and save the world.

Eric said...

I need to get me one of those and stop using my finger like a chump.

Marissa said...

Don't piss off a letter opener. They look pretty deadly in all their pointy glory.

Mrs. E said...

I can never find the letter opener when I need it. I think it is shirking the job!

Professor Chaos said...

Yes, but can your index finger double as a shiv? I didn't think so.

Chris@Maugeritaville said...

You'll never hear a letter opener say, "HEY, THAT'S NOT MY JOB!" They usually have a great attitude. Mine has done a fine job spreading peanut butter, for example.

Soda and Candy said...

nooooo, don't use your finger, you might get a paper cut!