Monday, December 28, 2009

An Open Letter To Charlie Sheen

Dear Charlie,

Hey man, how’s it going? I’m guessing not well based on the fact you got your ass arrested and thrown in jail on Christmas for allegedly holding a knife to your wife’s throat and threatening to kill her. Ouch. I understand that your baby momma was legally drunk at 8:30 in the morning (CLASSY) and probably had it coming, but still… this is getting embarrassing.

Charlie, I think you just need to stop getting married and stop procreating. Do you really need to be populating the planet with your crazy genes?! You already had THREE kids by two previous women and you really felt the need to have twins with this crazy bitch, who by the way has my same name? Don’t think for a second I’m not pissed that Brooke Mueller is desecrating the name Brooke for all of us!

Why don’t you just concentrate on your acting career, which right now consists solely of “Two And A Half Men,” and help that kid who plays your nephew slim down the chunk because he is getting FAAAAT. Maybe help your dad, Martin, do some political stuff or help your brother, Emilio, find ANY sort of an acting role since I don’t think I’ve seen him on film since “The Mighty Ducks.” I know you can do it , Charlie! I have faith in you!

Stay Away From Those Crazy Bitches,
Brooke Amanda


The Office Scribe said...

Leave Emilo out of this. The man is busy directing traffic. Or TV shows. Same diff.

brookeamanda said...

Office Scribe- Funny how Emilio's career nose-dived right after his marriage to Paula Abdul. Those Sheen boys sure like their women crazy!

Tom Bailey said...

I love the advice you gave at the end very entertaining blog.

Thanks for sharing.

Tom Bailey

Rebecca said...

I am so in love with the open letter blog that I want to bake you some cookies. I make fabulous sugar cookies (the recipe was my great grandmas and who knows who had it before she did) and pretty good peanut butter cookies!

I might have to blog my open letter to the mom who brought her sick kid to the bakery around April of this year.

obladi oblada said...

Just one more reason not to like Charlie Sheen. He has irritated me for a long time now...I cant stand him. Yeah, leave Emilio out of it...I like him. At least he isnt a gigantic jerk like Charlie.

brookeamanda said...

Tom- I'm always good for brutally honest advice :)

Rebecca- Thanks for loving our blog! You can send some of those sugar cookies my way anytime...I love sweets!

Obladi- Poor Emilio has just kind of faded into obscurity, but at least he's not causing any domestic disputes.