Monday, February 1, 2010

An Open Letter To My Girlfriend

Dear Snufflebunny,

As you know, whenever I see a dog, and that dog is within petting distance, I cannot help myself. I don't care if it's a rat-looking chihuahua or a friendly beagle or a snarling rottweiler. I simply must head over there and give it a pat on the head and perhaps a scratch behind the ear. Maybe it's a sign of personal weakness--I don't know. But I simply must do it.

Well, it turns out you can contract herpes from petting strange dogs. Who knew??

Anyway, that's where it came from so I guess we can just go ahead and not talk about it anymore.

Thanks for your understanding,
Shawn

8 comments:

Rebecca said...

I'm pretty sure you have a bridge to sell your girlfriend too. The Brooklyn Bridge, perhaps?

Heather Cherry said...

LOL! "That was a close one."

Lol again, I say.

shopgirl101 said...

I thought that was the only way to get herpes. That's why I never pet strange animals. Tons of unprotected sex, yes. Petting animals, no!

The Office Scribe said...

No, I am pretty sure there is a Herpes Fairy too. Or at least that's what the man with the van full of candy told me. Last week. On my way to the bar.

Count von Letters said...

I am a dog. I have been patted and kissed many times by humans. That's how I got this herpes thing. Thanks for your open letter.

Marissa said...

So that's what it's called nowadays, "Petting the dog".

JerseyGirl said...

Well, at least now I know.

WhiteSockGirl aka The Fabulous Bitch said...

But I only licked! And they don't make gloves for tongues!

LMAO! I love this post...