Monday, April 11, 2011

An Open Letter to Parking Lot Drivers

Written from the center of the crosswalk, heading from the Best Buy parking lot to the store:

Dear drivers,

What's the rush? Hey, you see that sign there? The one with the pretty red paint and the white letters and the octagonal shape? Yeah, that's a stop sign. It means, "Take your stupid foot off your stupid gas pedal and put it on your stupid brake pedal." You ignorant hunchback. The more impatient you look, the slower I will walk. I might even decide I need to start crawling, or pull out a pen and paper and compose a letter while you sit there in your fancy pants automobile, listening to some sort of god awful music that sounds like the screams of a thousand innocent souls. Best Buy isn't going anywhere. Not today, anyway. Just chill, dude-mar. Just chill.


1 comment:

Rebecca said...

A very similar letter can be written about a girl who takes her kids to the same preschool that I take my son to. The way she drives, it's almost like she's on her way to a fire.

Also, I kinda figure she is just in a hurry to get back to her blog because work or appointments are just not THAT important to get to.