Thursday, May 7, 2009

An Open Letter To Kate Gosling

Dear Kate,

Girl, looks like your man, John, has gone astray. I'm sooo shocked by this news, seeing as how having eight children must not be stressful to a marriage whatsoever. And the fact that they're all the same age must make it even easier on you two. I'm sure potty training a gaggle of toddlers was super fun! Oh, and the fact that you act like an uber-bitch 99% of the time must give ol' Johnny Boy an instant erection.

Don't get me wrong, I would probably have permanent PMS, too, if I was in your position. But why don't you try dialing down the whole "emasculating ball & chain thing" and see how that goes. Maybe take a day off from screaming orders at him every once in a while, 'cause I don't know too many men in the market for a single mom with eight kids, if you know what I mean.

Just trying to be helpful,
Brooke Amanda

9 comments:

DouglasDyer said...

Are you saying Kate might be available soon? Oh God, she makes me cringe soooo goooood.

Shawn said...

On the other hand...John...you don't even want to know what that child support bill would look like.

Heather Cherry said...

It really was thoughtful of you, Brooke.

shopgirl101 said...

Douglas- Please tell me she makes you cringe in fright and not in a sexual way :)

Shawn- Very good point. Yeah, they're basically both screwed. Looks like they're have to struggle thru a loveless marriage till all their kids turn 18.

Heather- I know, I'm so sweet :)

Bearman said...

Why is it that women can look at another woman and see when she is being too hard on her man but they can't see it in themselves. Ladies...glass houses and all that.

shopgirl101 said...

Bearman- What! I'm NEVER a bitch :)

obladi oblada said...

stuff

Anonymous said...

Lots of women keep their guys on a short leash. Women have what we want and we will do almost anything to get it.

Perhaps Kate overplayed her hand so John decided to seek a lower maintainence gal. His choice but to me Kate is a goddess who deserves a guy who worships the ground she walks on.

Anonymous said...

I am very much in television, and I wont lie because I used to be a serious watcher of the show. Up until I started to see the mistreatment of Jon. There was a lot of it. He helped and did the best he knew how, and she took advantage of it all the way. Would it be easier with two parents, typically. Yes. She made her bed and now she is sleeping in it, super comfortably. I have been a long time subscriber and employee to DISH, and so having the show and interviews and everything Kate DVR'd so I am sure I don't miss a single thing; is a nice little touch. I just don't see how they can outcast Jon for getting out of an abusive relationship? I feel bad for him, poor man got screwed! Since DISH does have the most HD channels, and the best channel line up I know there wont be any kind of shortage of other programming to watch now that the show is mainly about Kate, and how she gets all dolled up every morning. What mom has the time to do that with one kid and a full time job much less 8!?